How To Deal When Things Don’t Go Your Way
We’ve all been there. We work so hard and expect so much, but then things don’t turn out the way we want.
At some point, you will fail. It might be a little disappointment, or it might feel like a catastrophe!
Maybe you’ve been working hard on earning a cruise incentive and you missed it. Maybe you’ve been struggling to achieve a new leadership title and you just can’t get there.
Maybe you’re just getting started and are having a hard time finding customers.
This happens to everyone! Trust me… you are no exception.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been utterly devastated because no matter how hard I tried; I just couldn’t reach the goal I was aiming at. And it sure wasn’t from lack of trying.
When it happens, it might feel devastating. The pain might be horrendous. You might even feel that everyone knows and you’ll never be taken seriously again.
Failure might make you feel depressed, and you might feel like you just can’t do this. Maybe this Avon business isn’t for you.
But 999 times out of 1,000, you do have the strength to pick yourself up and try it again. You are more than this, whatever challenge you are having.
The most important thing is to recognize this – You can do this!
We all survive and go on. Almost everyone who has ever faced even the most horrific tragedies, like losing a loved one or getting a terminal diagnosis, discovered a hidden blessing after the fact.
Failure just means you’re pushing yourself. If it’s too easy and you never fail, you’ll also never grow.
Failure is part of the long road to success – but only if you use it to help you grow.
Yes, life sucks sometimes. Things happen. It’s not fair, and there’s nothing we can do to prevent bad things from happening. Sometimes those challenges seem more than we can bear.
But it’s your ability to turn your biggest setbacks into your best comebacks. That’s where the real breakthrough is.
Here are eight great ways to think about and use failure to your advantage:
1. Things didn’t work out the way I wanted, but I’m still ok.
Live in gratitude. Work to keep failure in the proper perspective. And no matter how bad it is, find the one thing you can be grateful for. It may be hard to find, but there’s always something.
2. Failure is proof that I’m pushing myself to the limit.
Yes, you can avoid failure by living a safe and boring life. But if you want to be more successful, or become a better version of yourself, you need to stretch and do some things that might cause you to fail. Failure is just proof that you’re working hard to accomplish something.
3. Focus on what you can control.
It’s not always about you. Just because you didn’t have the success you were looking for, it doesn’t mean that you’re not good enough. It might just mean you didn’t plan well enough this time, or that people just didn’t have the money to buy Avon since it’s the middle of the month. Focus on the things you can control – like learning what mistakes you made, how you can plan better, and doing your best.
4. Failure is uncomfortable, but you can handle it.
Remind yourself that you are tough. You can handle whatever disappointment comes along, and it will only make you stronger.
5. Failure is a verb, not a noun.
Just because you failed doesn’t mean you are a failure. Everyone has good days and bad days. Everyone succeeds at some things and not others. Remind yourself about the successes you’ve had in your life.
6. Failure is an opportunity to sharpen your skills.
If everything came easy, you’d never learn anything new. Every time you fail, you gain a lot of knowledge. Whether you discover a new solution to an old problem, or you find a whole new direction, failure can help you do better next time.
7. Recovering from failure will make you stronger.
Every time you bounce back from disappointments and rise above the obstacles, you grow mentally stronger. You’re tougher than you think and you can handle more than you imagine. Failure helps you build that mental muscle.
8. Know that you’ve overcome some really tough things in your life, and you can do it again.
Draw upon the knowledge, tools, and talents you’ve used in the past, and remind yourself that you do have the capability to bounce back. No matter how bad it is, you’ve always bounced back.
You can be a victim or a victor, but you can’t be both. Which do you choose?
Choose to be a victor. The faster you adapt after challenges, setbacks and adversity, the stronger you become and the better able you are to reach that success you’re looking for.
Sometimes that failure or disappointment might be more than you can handle at the moment. Sometimes you need to take a little time out. That’s totally ok. As long as you take that time to recover and nurse your wounds, and then get back out there and get your mojo back.
Maybe it didn’t work out for you. Maybe you gave it everything you’ve got and you just couldn’t make it happen. It happens. Take what you learned from the experience, change your tactics, and next time, success will be yours!
We’ve all been there. It can be really hard. But you can do this. I know you can. I believe in you!
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By Lynn Huber
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